


Little Boy Blue

by Liron_aria



Series: The Sam Winchester School of Hunting [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean's messed up but at least he's trying, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Sam's kids take him to the fair, deaged!sam, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 00:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1838452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liron_aria/pseuds/Liron_aria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam gets deaged by a witch and loses his adult memories. His kids decide it's high time he got to have some fun, regardless what Dean thinks.</p><p>--</p><p>Jesse clears his throat. “Guys, this is Sam. Sam, this Jake, Claire, and Ben.”</p><p>Jake and Ben’s faces go slack, and Claire’s eyes widen. “… Our Sam?”</p><p>"Dude, how did you go from an eight-year-old shrimp to a six-foot-four giant?!" Jake demands incredulously, and Claire reaches back without even looking to smack him upside the head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Boy Blue

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly unrepentant fluff, but angst snuck in anyway. I'm not really sure when this is set, but it's sometime after Dean stops being a demon.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. If I did, Sam would get a ton more screen time, meaningful relationships with other characters, and Jess. Jess would come back.
> 
> But that is neither here nor there, so please, sit back and enjoy!

Sam’s maybe eight, just after he found out about hunting. He doesn’t know where he is, doesn’t know how he got here, doesn’t know why there’s a dead woman bleeding near him, and he just wants Dean and his Dad. What if they’re hurt, what if a monster got them like it did the woman?

There’s a gun on the floor beside him, and he inches towards it warily. Dad hasn’t taught him to shoot yet because he’s too small, but he’s seen Dean do it. He just has to be brave, maybe he can do it, too.

And a big man, as big as his Dad, barges in, shouting and waving his gun around, and Sam freezes. Is this it? The man kill the woman and come back to finish the job?

Sam lets out a whimper and tries to scurry away when the man turns on him, but he’s big and Sam’s pretty small, and the man looms over him in a second.

"Sammy?! What the Hell happened?!"

The man knows his name, how does he know his name?

"Who - who are you? Where’s my Dad and my brother?!"

The man’s eyes widen. “Son of a - okay, Sammy, how about you give me the gun before you shoot someone’s head off… Or, kneecaps, at your height.”

Sam’s grip tightens and he holds out the gun in front of him, trembling. “Where’s. My. Dad. What did you do with my family?!”

The man blinks. He holds up his hands. “Okay, Sammy. It’s me, Dean. Your brother, Dean. I’m just going to put my gun down, okay? Then how about you do the same?”

Sam frowns, looking at the man suspiciously. Dean’s twelve, he doesn’t look anything like him. “If you’re really Dean, where’s your amulet?”

The man freezes, and then smiles awkwardly. “That old thing? I, uh, I gave it to Dad.”

He’s lying.

The man huffs. “Look, you and I used to pretend we were superheroes when we were kids, and you jumped off the roof and broke your arm because you didn’t know Batman couldn’t fly. I drove you to the hospital on my bike.”

Sam’s arm twinges in memory and he lowers the gun slightly. Maybe it is Dean.

As soon as the gun drops, the man’s tackling him, crushing him to his chest, and Sam panics for a moment, because it hurts and the man smells of whiskey and Dad always told him to stay away from anyone smelling that strongly of alcohol, even him. But then he hears “Thank God you’re okay, everything’s going to be fine, little brother, I’ll fix this, I promise,” and raises his hands to grip the man’s - Dean’s - arms a little unsurely.

He’s still scared.

The man -  _Dean_  - smiles and picks him up. “What say we get you home, hunh, buddy?”

* * *

Two days later, Sam’s hiding behind a bookshelf, sitting on the floor and reading. He’s also watching ‘Dean’ through a space in the books made by the one he just took out.

He’s about halfway sure the man isn’t actually his brother. Because he’s nothing like  _his_ Dean, he smells of whiskey constantly, and is always grumpy. He slams things around and yells when he thinks Sam’s not around, but the sounds carry throughout the bunker really easily.

Sam makes himself scarce, but that only makes ‘Dean’ grumpier.

'Dean' slams another book shut, and groans, pouring himself more whiskey.

"Hey, dickhead, what did you do with Sam?"

'Dean' sputters, and Sam's eyes widen. A tall teenager with curly hair, wearing plaid and khaki shorts is standing across the table from 'Dean' with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

"What the Hell are you even doing here?"

The teen shrugs. “It’s Saturday. Training day.”

Two more teenagers come up behind him, a blonde girl and someone who looks like he could be ‘Dean’s son.

None of them look very happy to see ‘Dean,’ and Sam wonders why they’re asking for him.

"What are you reading?"

Sam startles, looking away from the gap in the books to find a boy a little older than him - maybe Dean’s age,  _his_  Dean - sitting cross-legged on the floor across from him.

"Who are you?"

"I’m Jesse," the boy replies, and Sam notices he has blue highlights in his hair. "Jesse Turner. Don’t you remember me?"

Sam shakes his head. He’d remember someone with blue hair.

Jesse grins and Sam realises he’s said that out loud. Jesse continues, “Yeah, you were kind of surprised when I cam back from Ireland with them - well, big-you, anyway.”

Sam blinks. “… ‘Big-me?’”

"Yeah, you know, the six-foot-four version of you before you became small? Didn’t Dean tell you?"

Sam scowls. “‘Dean’ hasn’t told me  _anything_  besides that he’ll ‘keep me safe’ and he’s ‘going to fix this.’ I’m only allowed in his room and the library.”

Jesse’s eyebrows climb up and up, and Sam glances back through the gap between books to see the blonde girl glaring at ‘Dean,’ and ‘Dean’ trying to loom over her.

"I don’t think he likes me very much," Sam confesses.

"So you’re hiding in the library, reading a book on…" Jesse lifts the book quickly and checks the title. "Hindu mythology. Good choice."

"I’m not stealing it," Sam protests quickly.

Jesse’s eyebrows rise up again, and he points out, “You can’t steal what’s yours, Sam.”

Sam’s jaw drops as he whips around to look at the rest of the library. “This is  _mine?_ All of these?”

Jesse nods. “Yeah. I mean, Jake keeps trying to hide his Spanish textbook here because he hates Spanish, and I think Ben left his geometry book once, but these are your books, Sam. This is your house.”

"I - I have a house? A real one? We don’t move all the time?"

Jesse tilts his head. “I mean, you go out on hunts, but you always come back. This is your home. Safest place on Earth.”

Sam’s pretty sure his eyes are going to fall out of his head. “ _Wow._ ”

Jesse grins. “Hey, you want to meet Ben and Jake and Claire? They’re super nice, I promise. We’ll get you out of Dean’s hair for a while.”

Sam’s expression falls a bit at the mention of ‘Dean,’ so Jesse leans forward conspiratorially. “It’s okay, Dean doesn’t like us very much, either, but he’s a big - wait, how old are you?”

"Eight."

"… Right. He’s a big… poophead, so we don’t care what he thinks."

Sam giggles involuntarily at Jesse’s expression and choice of words, and Jesse grins wider.

There’s a crash from beyond them, and a pained grunt, followed by a girl crying, “ _Jake!”_

Jesse shoots to his feet instantly, looking through a gap in the shelves above Sam, warning Sam to stay down and stay quiet. He’s taller than Sam,  _everyone’s_  taller than Sam, but he relaxes at what he sees. He holds out his hand and smiles. “Come on, it’s okay.”

Sam allows Jesse to lead him out of the shelves and back to the open are - where ‘Dean’s collapsed against an overturned chair, his nose bleeding, and the blonde is massaging her temples, while the teen who looks sort of like Dean grins and throws his arm around the boy in plaid, whose fist is still clenched.

Jesse clears his throat. “Guys, this is Sam. Sam, this Jake, Claire, and Ben.”

Jake and Ben’s faces go slack, and Claire’s eyes widen. “…  _Our_ Sam?”

"Yup," Jesse agrees serenely, and Sam wonders if he has any other emotions. "Except tiny and without any of his memories."

"I’m not  _tiny,_ " Sam grumbles, "I’m  _eight._ ” _  
_

"Dude, how did you go from an eight-year-old shrimp to a six-foot-four giant?!" Jake demands incredulously, and Claire reaches back without even looking to smack him upside the head.

Sam bites down on a giggle. Claire steps towards him her hand outstretched. “It’s nice to meet you, Sam. I’m Claire Novak, and the brats behind me are my boyfriend, Jacob Pond, and his best friend, Ben Braden.”

This time, Sam does giggle, because Ben and Jacob both pout in response to Claire’s introduction. “Sam Winchester,” Sam replies, remembering his manners, “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Novak.”

Claire’s eyes widen and she laughs. Sam thinks she has a very nice laugh as she ruffles his hair. “I’m just seventeen, Sam. You don’t have to call me ‘Miss.’ Just Claire’s fine.”

Sam smiles impishly. “Okay, Just Claire.”

Jesse snickers behind him as Claire smiles and Ben and Jacob grin. “I like him,” Ben says, “We should keep him.”

"He’s not your  _pet_ ,” ‘Dean’ growls, pushing himself up.

Jacob’s in front of him in a second, eyes flashing like a fox’s and claws growing from his nails. “No one asked  _you_ , asshat.”

Sam grips Jesse’s hand, fear dousing him like ice water.

“ _Jacob!_ " Jesse and Claire snap, and Jacob looks back, nonplussed.

"You’re scaring Sam," Claire hisses, and Jacob’s expression falls when he sees Sam. His shoulders slump and he draws back his claws.

Sam swallows. “A - are you a m-monster?” His voice is shaky and high and he  _hates_  it, he’s supposed to be  _brave_ , why can’t be be like Dean and Dad?

Jacob looks hurt, really hurt, and he sighs. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. I’m one of the good ones, though! I don’t hurt people.”

Sam glances at ‘Dean,’ who sneers.

"Dean’s a special case," Ben explains, "He’s kind of a -"

Claire shoots him a warning glance.

" - not very nice person," Ben amends. "He doesn’t like us, and we don’t like him."

"That doesn’t mean you should hit him," Sam points out dubiously.

Everyone in the room stares at him, and Sam shrinks in on himself a little.

"Woooow," Jacob says slowly, "You started the Christ-incarnate thing  _early_.”

Sam’s brow furrows in confusion and Claire huffs. “You’re right, Sam. Jake shouldn’t have punched Dean -“

"Aw, come on, Claire -"

”- And Dean shouldn’t have threatened Jake or consumed the state’s total import of whiskey, so they’re  _both_  in the wrong.”

"Well, you’re not wrong on the last part," Ben points out, "No-one’s entirely sure why he’s not dead from liver cirrhosis yet. More’s the pity."

“ _Ben._ ”

"Castiel gives him a new liver every time he heals him," Jesse pipes up.

This time, even Claire joins Ben and Jacob in demanding incredulously, “Oh my God, really?!”

"Who’s Castiel?" Sam asks Jesse quietly.

"Dean’s angel friend," Jesse replies softly.

Sam’s eyes widen as big as saucers. “Angels are  _real?!_ ”

'Dean' scoffs. “Yeah, they exist. Feathery dou - dirtbags.”

Sam frowns in confusion again, and Claire puts her hands on her hips. “Okay, I think it’s high time we head out. There’s a fair in town, Sam, you want to go see?”

Sam’s breath catches in his throat, because  _yes_ , he totally wants to go to a fair, but ‘Dean’ growls, “You’re not taking him anywhere!”

"That is not even remotely your decision," Ben snaps.

"He’s  _my_  brother!” _  
_

"And it’s that kind of agency-overriding behavior that got you turned into a demon, so please sit down and shut up, or we’ll let Jacob punch you again."

Sam looks between Ben and ‘Dean’ and revises his original thought that they might be father and son.

"He’s  _eight!_ ”

"When I was eight I was living in Australia by myself," Jesse pointed out.

"Yeah, and you’re also the Antichrist," ‘Dean’ snaps back.

"What does that mean?" Sam asks.

Jesse smiles thinly. “It means Dean  _really_  doesn’t like me.”

"This is Sam’s decision," Claire says firmly. "You’re not going to force him into anything, and neither are we."

Sam looks at her in wonder. He - he gets to  _choose_? “I want to go to the fair,” he says quietly.

"Sam,  _no -_ " ‘Dean’ protests, "It’s not safe."

Ben and Jacob scoff. “Dude, If your argument is that only you can keep safe,” Jacob sneered, “I’m gonna remind you that the four of us  _kicked your ass_ , so you don’t really have a leg to stand on. Come on, Sam.”

Sam steps towards Ben, but glances back at ‘Dean’ unsurely. The man  _has_ fed him and looked after him for the past few days. ‘Dean’ clenches his jaw, but then his expression softens. “Fine, go to the fair. But if even one hair on his head is out of place, I  _will_  kill you, understand?”

Jacob rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

Sam yelps as Jacob picks him up and plops him on his shoulders. “Come on, kid. The fair’s like the only good thing this town has.”

“ _Jacob!_  Put me down, I’ll hurt your back!”

"You weigh like five pounds, shrimp, I’ll be fine. Just don’t fall off, okay?"

"Bring him back by dinner," ‘Dean’ calls out behind them, and Jacob and Ben both raise their middle fingers at him without looking back.

Claire sighs and yanks their hands down as Sam and Jesse snicker.

* * *

A few hours later, Sam has decided that Jesse, Jacob, Claire, and Ben as  _the most awesome people ever_ , almost as awesome as  _his_  Dean.

Jesse lets him sit on his shoulders almost the whole time, and even lets him eats ice cream there, even though some of it gets in his hair.

"I’ll take a shower later, don’t worry about it. Who knows, maybe it’ll even be good for my hair, like one of those organic new-age recipes."

Ben wins him a giant stuffed dog in a game of darts, and teaches Sam how to throw. Sam’s pretty bad at it, but Ben just laughs and ruffles his hair, saying he’ll get better.

Jesse goes on the carousel with him, over and over again until Sam gets tired, and tells Sam about the  _real_  horses he rode in Italy and Greece. Jesse knows a lot about everything, and tells Sam all about places he’s never been, never even dreamed of going to.

Sam thinks he might want to be like Jesse when he grows up. Or Jacob. Or Ben. He wishes his Dean were around, he bets they would have  _tons_  of fun.

Claire has the prettiest laugh Sam’s ever heard, and she laughs a lot. She laughs at Jacob and Ben when they tell corny jokes and make faces, and she’s nearly doubled over when Ben, Jacob, and Jesse go to get their faces painted and come back with sparkly butterflies all over them. She buys him cotton candy and strawberries and the juiciest blueberries Sam’s ever had.

"They’re all organic - which means they were grown by farmers nearby, without any pesticides or extra chemicals. Big-you loves them, so I thought you might, too."

"They’re  _awesome_ ,” Sam replies, his lips blue, and Claire doesn’t complain when he slips his sticky hand back in hers, tugging her on towards the next colorful thing that catches his eye.

The sun’s hanging low in the sky when the find of them find a grassy knoll to sit on - well, Jesse’s lying down beside Claire, who sits with Sam sitting between her legs as she braids him a daisy chain, and Ben and Jacob are wrestling on the ground beside them.

It’s the best day Sam can remember.

It’s almost time to go back to the bunker, and dread churns in Sam’s gut. “Hey, Claire?” Sam asks softly, picking at the grass beneath his feet, “Is ‘Dean’ - the one in the bunker - is he really my brother?”

Claire bites down on a sigh, but Sam hears it anyway. “Yeah, Sam, he is.”

It’s exactly what Sam feared.

"Then… Do I grow up bad?"

Everyone freezes.

"Sam…" Claire says slowly, gently, as if Sam’s a scared animal that needs to be calmed down, "Why would you think that?"

"I must grow up bad," Sam points out, because it all makes  _sense_  now, “Because Dean’s always mad at me. He drinks and slams things, and I’m the only thing that’s different. I must grow up bad, because Dad’s not around, and Dean doesn’t wear his amulet anymore. Dean’s a hero, like my Dad, so it must be me. It makes  _sense._ ”

"No." It’s not Claire who says it, but Jacob. Jacob’s on his knees in front of Sam, eyes wide and fierce and a little bit. "No, don’t you think that. You grow up  _good_ , you hear me? You grow up a  _hero_ , the greatest hero this stupid world has ever known, the greatest  _man_  I know, you understand? You save hundreds,  _thousands_  of people, and you don’t ask for a word of thanks. You don’t grow up bad, not at all. You grow up  _good._ ”

Sam’s eyes grow wide as Jacob speaks, and he goes completely still. He doesn’t know what to do, what so say, because no one’s ever spoken to him like this before. “Who - who  _are_  you?”

It’s the question he’s been avoiding all afternoon, because he’s not sure why four teenagers as nice and cool as them would want to spend their time with him, instead of doing something else.

"We’re your kids," Jesse replies softly, sitting up, "You find us all when we were angry and scared and lost, and you teach us that it doesn’t matter what we are, it only matters what we do."

Ben comes up behind Jacob, his expression solemn and gentle. “You teach us that it’s our choice to be good, that we can be more than our anger and hurt. You teach us to be  _better._ ”

Claire smiles tremulously and kisses the crown of Sam’s head. Sam thinks maybe his mother might have kissed him like that, once. “You grow up wonderful, Sam. You give us a home and a family and you inspire so many people. So don’t you ever think you grow up bad, okay?”

"Okay," Sam says softly, and feels something unfurling in his chest, something he thinks might be hope. He smiles up at the others. "Okay."

Jacob laughs faintly and drops down in front of Claire, lying perpendicular to her feet. Ben follows suit, using Jacob’s stomach as a pillow.

"Oof - get  _off_  me, Braeden, you weigh as much as an elephant.”

"Shut up, you wore me out, alright? Which, for the record, is the only time you’re ever going to hear that."

"I’m going to kill you when I get the energy to move again."

Sam giggles, partly because of Ben and Jacob’s bickering, and partly because one of the stems in Claire’s daisy chain tickles his ear when she puts the crown on him.

Jacob looks over at the sound and grins mischievously when he sees Sam shaking his head. “Hey Claire, I think someone’s  _ticklish!”_

"I am  _not!_ " Sam protests, and then gives a yelp when Jacob runs a blade of glass along his ankle.

He tries to scramble back into Claire, but she’s got her fingers at his side, and soon Sam’s shrieking in laughter, because Sam is  _totally_ ticklish, practically  _everywhere,_  and Claire’s magic and knows how to find  _all of them._

No one expects Dean to turn up and bring their outing to a screeching halt.

 _Certainly_  no one expects Jesse to let out a roar of rage and punch Dean in the face, and slam him to the ground.  _"Salaud! T’es un petit con, t’mérites pas -_ ”

Ben and Jacob scramble to their feet, and Jacob mutters, “What, you’ll let Jesse swear, but not us?”

"Sam doesn’t speak French," Claire points out, standing and helping Sam to his feet.

"Yet, anyway," Ben mutters.

" - because of you! How  _dare you!_  How  _dare_  you let him think that,  _he’s your brother!_ ”

Sam clutched at Claire, and she said urgently, “Ben, Jake - bring him back. Bring him back now.”

Ben and Jacob nod, striding over to pull Jesse off Dean.

"Jesse - Jesse, come on, buddy, it’s okay. Come, let it go -"

"He’s eight years old and  _scared,_  because you won’t tell him anything, so he think you drinking and yelling and slamming things around is  _his fault_  - he’s  _eight years old, Dean!_  If you love him,  _how could you do that to him?!”_

"Jesse," Ben pleads, "Jesse, come back to us. Come back, bro, Dean’s not worth it, he never is, just come back to us -"

There are tears in Jesse’s eyes as Ben and Jacob manage to pull him off Dean, and he whispers furiously, “He can’t do that to Sam. He  _can’t._ ”

Dean looks heartbroken, more than Jacob did when Sam asked if he was a monster. “Sammy… you - you really think that? You’re  _scared_  of me?”

Sam fidgets at Claire’s side.

Dean’s expression crumples further and he chokes on a pained noise. “Sammy… That’s not - Why would you even -“

"You’re always mad," Sam whispers, wishing he could hide behind Claire, wishing they could rewind time, but he has to be brave, now. "I’m what’s different, so I thought it was because of me."

"No,  _no_ ,  _Sammy_  - don’t you ever think that, okay? You’re my little brother, you’re my  _entire world_ , you don’t ever have to be afraid of me, alright? Not me, never me…”

Dean’s arm are spread slightly, so Sam shuffles over to give him a hug. Dean’s hold isn’t tight this time, and Sam thinks he might be crying, so he wraps his arm around his neck. He still smells of whiskey, but he’s really  _his_ Dean, all grown up, there’s one fact Sam knows.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean’s shoulder shudder once, and then he’s picking up Sam like Jacob did, gently, as if Sam’s something precious. “What say we go get dinner, hunh, buddy?”

Sam steadies himself in his brother’s hold and looks back at the teenagers. Maybe if he  _does_  grow bad, maybe if  _does_  do whatever it is that makes Dean mad at him, if it brings him Jesse, Jacob, Ben, and Claire, maybe it’ll be okay.

Hope unfurls in Sam’s chest some more as the sun finally sets, and he thinks, maybe  _he’ll_  be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I also have no idea whether Sam remembers what happened when he reverts to his proper age. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, but overall it doesn't change his relationship with anyone, so I leave that up to reader discretion.
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Please, let me know!
> 
> If anything in here stirs the need for discussion in you, shoot me a message. You can also find more of my thoughts on Sam Winchester here: http://queen-of-carven-stone.tumblr.com/tagged/Sam-Winchester
> 
> You can also find snippets and headcanons for SWSH here: http://queen-of-carven-stone.tumblr.com/tagged/The-Sam-Winchester-School-of-Hunting


End file.
